Tantrums and Grace

Have you ever thrown a fit when talking to the Lord? I mean, mine was more like a tantrum, but who’s comparing, right?! Anyway, the few brief moments and months leading up to my toddler outburst had been hard – and often hurtful. My emotions were being driven by my feelings and my feelings by my focus (which was on myself.) As I sat in my car, I listed all the ways I had been slighted, the lack of understanding shown, what injury injustice had done to my heart, and how exhausting it was to have to always take the narrow path on the high road. See what I mean about my focus? I was Elijah in the cave, except I was in a car. Still yet, the Lord allowed me to cry, complain, question, and yes, He even allowed me to be angry and self-centered – He just didn’t let me stay there. I knew what was coming, but I was fighting it. His Words of life and truth hidden in my heart bubbled up, one at a time, until I knew what was to come.

Repentance through an act of service, forgiveness, because the love of Jesus compels us to see others, to view our circumstances, through Holy Sprit colored glasses.

As I turned the keys in the ignition and began to drive to my destination, I had calmed down; but, I was still resisting what my spirit was directing me to do – the kind and godly thing, that thing which goes beyond oneself. I remember my words as if I spoke them yesterday. “I just want to know I am loved, and you hear me.” As I cried out to my Father, He just listened, then I felt Him lean in and love on me with His heart. I heard Him whisper, “You are mine, and I am yours; I am your Maker and Husband. I am your rewarder when you diligently seek me. I love you with an everlasting love; and the same love that covers a multitude of your sins, is the same love which compels you to love others.”

His tender correction toppled my tantrum, His faithful hand of love subdued my fit.

I could go on to tell of the divine happening in the grocery store, but let it be said, some miracle moments are just between a father and his daughter. Just trust me when I say this, His love is big.

His love is bigger than our hurt, bigger than our selfishness, bigger than our complaints, bigger than our fear, bigger than our brokenness – so big it blows my mind!

I am certainly thankful He doesn’t only whisper into caves to prophets, and that His love covers my tantrums with grace.

Companion Faith

I began my author’s journey a few years back, only dreaming of one day getting to know different women of faith (and writing about them.)

In January of this year, the Lord impressed upon my heart 12 sisters of faith (from the Old and New testaments) to open my life up to. He has placed them on my heart faithfully every day, calling me to learn more the beauty of how He uses our unique personalities (and walks) to influence and mold our individual faith.

God is, after all, the Creating Personality, as A.W. Tozer said in his precious book, The Pursuit of God.

I must give a shout out to my “Isaiah-til-we-are-100” friend, who encouraged me to jump in and kick-start the introduction process to these astounding women of faith. She challenged me with this text – “Tell me how Priscilla’s faith inspires you?”

Honestly, I thought I knew a little about her already, however, as with any individual, there are personality layers, and if you want to get to know them, you have to spend quality time with them. Therefore, I asked our Father to introduce me to his precious daughter in a way that would change me for the better, and I know this is just the beginning.

Priscilla was an amazing woman of God. It is evident her husband was sure to trust in and depend on her. I have no doubt he knew her worth was greater than all the rubies in all the world.

She was always mentioned alongside her husband, whether it was in the family business of tentmaking, the mentoring and discipling of Apollos, giving the Apostle Paul a home, hosting Church in her home, or in being willing to lay her life on the line for the sake of the gospel and her friend.

One commentary made this statement, regarding the quietly humble and faithful discipling ministry of Priscilla (and her husband Aquilla,)

“If we cannot be great, by God’s grace we may be the means of making others great.”

She willingly and graciously partnered in the gospel – being a woman poured out for Jesus. She is only mentioned a handful of times, but what an impact one woman’s faith – in the hands of her Father – made!!

She was humble, steadfast, hardworking, and a wise servant of Christ as she aided in furthering His gospel and building the Church.

After spending a little time with our Father, and meeting Priscilla in a brief encounter through the Word, I believe what inspires me most is that her companion style faith was genuine and steadfast.

She was a true partner in both marriage and in ministry. What a beautiful picture of her unique faith.

The quiet, yet profoundly influential, life of Priscilla, resonates with my teacher-heart.

The children placed under my care are the future, what a privilege to learn from this woman of faith about being compassionate and gentle in the way I mentor and teach the truth of His love for us.

Our Creator knows us – He knitted us in our Mother’s womb and called us to do anointed things for Him. He will use our uniqueness to design our faith. And, He most assuredly will use one woman’s faith in the most marvelous of ways!